The expression 「〜さ」 softens the speaker’s emotions or seeks light confirmation or empathy from the listener. It is used in friendly, casual conversations, giving a somewhat informal impression. However, if not used carefully, it may come across as rude depending on the situation and the listener.
Nuances and Usage
- Starting a Conversation / Drawing Attention
「〜(なん)だけどさ」 can introduce opinions, topics, or requests casually to get the listener’s attention.
Feature: Naturally used between close friends to ease into a topic or conversation without being too abrupt. - Expressing Concession with Honest Thoughts / Self-Defense
This expression can convey minor dissatisfaction or disagreement while giving the impression of understanding the situation. It softens criticism by wrapping it in a concession.
Feature: Common in situations where the speaker wants to express frustration without coming off as harsh. - Seeking Empathy, Agreement, or Confirmation
The phrase is also used to invite empathy or agreement, especially in friendly conversations. It makes the statement feel less forceful, sounding more like a personal observation or curiosity.
Feature: Adds a nonchalant tone, encouraging listeners to reflect or share their thoughts.
Usage Note
Be careful: 「〜さ」 is usually used in casual sentences, so it’s not appropriate with polite forms like 「〜です」 or 「〜ます」. Using it in formal contexts can sound awkward or rude.
Additionally, 「〜さ」 is a very casual spoken expression and is not suitable for written language.
Examples with Explanations
- Starting a Conversation
明日の会議なんだけどさ、少し遅れても大丈夫かな？
(あしたの かいぎなんだけどさ、すこし おくれても だいじょうぶかな？)
— “About tomorrow’s meeting, is it okay if I arrive a bit late?”
Explanation: 〜だけどさ makes the conversation opener feel relaxed and non-pressuring, signaling a desire to confirm or check something without being too formal. - Expressing Mild Dissatisfaction or Feedback
美味しいんだけどさ、ちょっと味が濃いんだよね。
(おいしいんだけどさ、ちょっと あじが こいんだよね。)
— “It’s tasty, but the flavor is a bit too strong.”
Explanation: 〜だけどさ softens the criticism, making it feel more like an observation or personal taste rather than harsh feedback. - Sharing Honest Feelings with Concession
別にいいんだけどさ、ちゃんと報告してほしかったな。
(べつに いいんだけどさ、ちゃんと ほうこくして ほしかったな。)
— “I mean, it’s not a big deal, but I would’ve liked you to report it properly.”
Explanation: Using 〜だけどさ signals that the speaker doesn’t want to sound demanding but still wants to express their underlying dissatisfaction or wish. - Conveying Confirmed Information
一回確認しておいたんだけどさ、やっぱりもう一回見たほうがいいかな？
(いっかい かくにんしておいたんだけどさ、やっぱり もういっかい みたほうが いいかな？)
— “I already checked it once, but do you think I should double-check?”
Explanation: The 〜だけどさ here expresses slight uncertainty and invites another opinion without making the speaker sound overly assertive. - Inviting Someone Casually
今週末なんだけどさ、飲みに行かない？
(こんしゅうまつなんだけどさ、のみに いかない？)
— “So, about this weekend, do you want to grab some drinks?”
Explanation: The 〜だけどさ makes the invitation sound laid-back, as if it’s a casual afterthought, lowering any pressure on the listener to accept. - Discussing Health Concerns
昨日からちょっと頭痛がするんだけどさ、病院に行ったほうがいいかな？
(きのうから ちょっと ずつうがするんだけどさ、びょういんに いったほうが いいかな？)
— “I’ve had a headache since yesterday. Do you think I should see a doctor?”
Explanation: Using 〜だけどさ here makes the inquiry feel conversational and not overly serious, inviting friendly advice rather than urgent concern. - Reporting Casually
昨日、田中さんに会ったんだけどさ、元気そうだったよ。
(きのう、たなかさんに あったんだけどさ、げんきそうだったよ。)
— “I ran into Tanaka-san yesterday, and he seemed well.”
Explanation: The 〜だけどさ helps to present the report as light and casual, as if sharing everyday gossip without too much significance. - Making a Request
悪いんだけどさ、コピー取ってきてもらえる？
(わるいんだけどさ、こぴー とって きてもらえる？)
— “Sorry to trouble you, but could you make a copy?”
Explanation: The 〜だけどさ softens the request, making it sound more like a favor between acquaintances rather than a direct demand. - Presenting Your Plan
私さ、来月から留学しようと思ってるんだ。
(わたしさ、らいげつから りゅうがく しようと おもってるんだ。)
— “So, I’ve decided to study abroad starting next month.”
Explanation: Using 〜さ emphasizes that the speaker is casually introducing a personal plan without making it sound like a formal announcement. - Reacting to an Event
あの映画、面白かったけどさ、ちょっと長すぎたよね。
(あのえいが、おもしろかったけどさ、ちょっと ながすぎたよね。)
— “That movie was good, but it was a bit too long, don’t you think?”
Explanation: The 〜だけどさ makes the statement conversational, subtly inviting the listener to agree or share their thoughts without being forceful. - Raising an Issue with a Suggestion
ここも悪くないんだけどさ、もうちょっと安いところがあればいいよね。
(ここも わるくないんだけどさ、もうちょっと やすいところが あれば いいよね。)
— “This place isn’t bad, but it’d be nice if we found a cheaper one.”
Explanation: The 〜だけどさ helps convey a mild preference without sounding too critical, making the statement feel more like a friendly suggestion. - Talking Casually about Yourself
私さ、昔から猫が好きでさ、今も3匹飼ってるんだ。
(わたしさ、むかしから ねこが すきでさ、いまも さんびき かってるんだ。)
— “I’ve always loved cats, and I still have three of them now.”
Explanation: The 〜さ here emphasizes that the speaker is sharing personal information naturally, making the statement sound familiar and easygoing. - Expressing Concern
彼、大丈夫だとは思うんだけどさ、ちょっと心配なんだよね。
(かれ、だいじょうぶだとは おもうんだけどさ、ちょっと しんぱいなんだよね。)
— “I think he’ll be fine, but I’m still a bit worried.”
Explanation: The 〜だけどさ indicates a mild concern without overdramatizing the situation, making it sound like a casual expression of worry. - Confirming Plans
明日なんだけどさ、何時に集合するんだっけ？
(あしたなんだけどさ、なんじに しゅうごうするんだっけ？)
— “About tomorrow, what time are we meeting again?”
Explanation: The 〜だけどさ helps to make the question sound light and friendly, as if casually reminding the listener about the plan. - Expressing a Slight Preference
寿司じゃなくてステーキが良かったなぁ。別に良いんだけどさ。
(すしじゃなくて すてーきが よかったなぁ。べつに いいんだけどさ。)
— “I would’ve preferred steak over sushi, but it’s not a big deal.”
Explanation: The 〜だけどさ helps to soften the speaker’s preference, making it clear they’re not upset. This creates a casual tone that avoids sounding too demanding or picky. - Lightly Confirming a Suspicion
これさ、もしかして去年買った牛乳じゃないよね？
(これさ、もしかして きょねん かった ぎゅうにゅうじゃないよね？)
— “This isn’t the milk we bought last year, is it?”
Explanation: The 〜さ adds a playful or light tone to the suspicion, making it sound more humorous and less accusatory, perfect for casual conversations. - Conceding While Sharing Honest Thoughts
もっと早く言って欲しかったな。聞かなかった私も悪いんだけどさ。
(もっと はやく いって ほしかったな。きかなかった わたしも わるいんだけどさ。)
— “I wish you had told me earlier. But it’s my fault too for not asking.”
Explanation: The 〜だけどさ here conveys regret in a non-confrontational way, softening the expression of dissatisfaction by admitting some responsibility on the speaker’s part. - Expressing Disappointment Casually
頑張ったんだけどさ、誰も褒めてくれないんだよね。
(がんばったんだけどさ、だれも ほめてくれないんだよね。)
— “I worked hard, but no one praised me.”
Explanation: This sentence expresses mild frustration and disappointment in a casual, indirect way. The use of 「〜だけどさ」 softens the tone, suggesting that the speaker isn’t looking for a confrontation but still wants to share their dissatisfaction. It’s a way of venting feelings without being too harsh, typical of conversations with close friends or colleagues. - Revealing a Secret Casually
私さ、ずっと秘密にしてたんだけどさ、実は29歳じゃなくて36歳なんだ。
(わたしさ、ずっと ひみつに してたんだけどさ、じつは にじゅうきゅうさいじゃなくて さんじゅうろくさい なんだ。)
— “So, I’ve been keeping a secret for a while, but actually, I’m 36, not 29.”
Explanation: This example introduces the speaker’s personal secret in a casual, friendly tone. The use of 「〜さ」 gives the confession a light, non-serious feel, making it sound less like a formal apology and more like an amusing admission between friends. - Using 「〜さ」 in a Confrontational Tone
田中さんさ、何度同じミスすれば分かるの？
(たなかさんさ、なんど おなじ みす すれば わかるの？)
— “Tanaka-san, how many times do you have to make the same mistake to understand?”
Explanation: A frustrated or exasperated tone. The listener can sense that negative feedback is coming just from the phrase “田中さんさ” with the tone. - Apologizing While Sharing a Preference
ごめん。買ってきてもらったのに悪いんだけどさ、無糖のアーモンドミルクが良かったんだよね。言わなかった俺が悪いんだけどさ。
(ごめん。かってきて もらったのに わるいんだけどさ、むとうの あーもんどみるくが よかったんだよね。いわなかった おれが わるいんだけどさ。)
— “Sorry. I appreciate you getting it, but I was hoping for unsweetened almond milk. It’s my fault for not saying anything.”
Explanation: The 〜だけどさ structure softens the delivery of a mild preference by acknowledging both gratitude and personal responsibility. This makes the message sound less critical, balancing the expression of disappointment with an apology to maintain a polite and friendly tone. It also helps the speaker avoid coming off as demanding or ungrateful, making it suitable for casual conversations. - Raising a Concern
あのさ、いつも遅刻して悪いと思わないの？
(あのさ、いつも ちこくして わるいと おもわないの？)
— “Hey, don’t you feel bad about always being late?”
Explanation: This expression is used to confront someone casually, typically to express frustration or dissatisfaction. Starting with “あのさ” makes the tone more direct but still conversational. It softens the confrontation just a little compared to a fully aggressive approach. - Introducing a Request
あのさ、お願いがあるんだけど…。
(あのさ、おねがいが あるんだけど…)
— “Hey, I have a favor to ask…”
Explanation: This sentence introduces a request in a soft, non-pressuring way. The use of “あのさ” creates an approachable and casual tone, preparing the listener for what follows. Perfect for friendly settings when asking for a favor. - Sharing a Light Opinion or Curiosity
日本語ってさ、不思議だよね。
(にほんごってさ、ふしぎだよね。)
— “Japanese is kind of mysterious, isn’t it?”
Explanation: 「～さ」 used here to express a casual reflection, inviting the listener to agree or share their thoughts. It adds a friendly and nonchalant vibe, making the speaker sound like they’re just thinking out loud. This phrase is often used when someone is marveling at the complexities or unique aspects of the Japanese language, creating a conversational tone that feels natural among friends.
Caution
Expressions using 〜さ may seem positive in writing, but depending on the speaker’s tone, they can sound curt, complaining, indecisive, or sentimental. Overusing 〜さ in conversation can make the speaker come across as annoying, unrefined, or childish. It is an advanced grammar point that requires skill to master.
Performance in Dramas and Anime
In dramas and anime, characters often overuse 「〜さ」 to immediately convey that the character is lighthearted, frivolous or sentimental. Pay attention to how this is used to understand character personalities more deeply.
Summary
The particle 「〜さ」 and expressions like 「〜(ん)だけどさ」 help soften conversations and make the speaker’s statements feel more personal or reflective. These expressions are useful for:
- Starting conversations casually
- Expressing preferences, frustrations, or concessions softly
- Inviting agreement, empathy, or feedback from the listener
While effective in informal settings, they can sound rude or careless if overused or used with inappropriate tone. Use them primarily with close friends in relaxed environments, and avoid them in formal settings.