In Japanese, the verbs あげる, もらう, and くれる are essential for expressing the act of giving and receiving. These verbs not only describe the direction of the action but also convey nuances of relationships and the speaker’s feelings. Moreover, their extended forms—〜てあげる, 〜てもらう, and 〜てくれる—add emotional depth, often reflecting kindness, gratitude, or consideration. Understanding these structures allows for more natural and precise communication.

あげる, もらう, and くれる

These three verbs express the action of giving or receiving and indicate the direction of the action. The choice depends on the perspective of the speaker and the relationships between the giver, receiver, and speaker.

1. あげる

Meaning: To give (from the speaker or someone close to the speaker to someone else).
Perspective: The action moves away from the speaker (or someone close to them) to someone else.
Usage: Often used when the speaker or someone from their “in-group” gives something to another person (outside the group).
Example sentences:
1. 私は友達にプレゼントをあげました。
  (わたしはともだちにぷれぜんとをあげました。)
  — I gave my friend a present.
2. 両親が隣の人にお土産をあげた。
  (りょうしんがとなりのひとにおみやげをあげた。)
  — My parents gave a souvenir to the neighbor.
3. 私は店員さんにチップをあげた。
  (わたしはてんいんさんにちっぷをあげた。)
  ー I gave the waiter a tip.

2. もらう

Meaning: To receive (the speaker or someone close to the speaker receives something from someone else).
Perspective: The action moves toward the speaker (or their in-group).
Usage: Used when the speaker (or someone close to them) receives something.
Example sentences:
1. 私は友達からプレゼントをもらいました。
  (わたしはともだちからぷれぜんとをもらいました。)
  — I received a present from my friend.
2. 弟は先生からアドバイスをもらった。
  (おとうとがせんせいからあどばいすをもらった。)
  — My younger brother got advice from the teacher.
3. 私はお客さんからチップをもらった。
  (わたしはおきゃくさんからちっぷをもらった。)
  ー I received a tip from the customer.

3. くれる

Meaning: To give (someone gives to the speaker or someone close to the speaker).
Perspective: The action moves toward the speaker (or their in-group).
Usage: Used when the giver is giving to the speaker or someone the speaker is emotionally close to.
Example sentences:
1. 友達が私にプレゼントをくれました。
  (ともだちがわたしにぷれぜんとをくれました。)
  — My friend gave me a present.
2. 友達が私の投稿にコメントをくれた。
  (ともだちがわたしのとうこうにこめんとをくれた。)
  ー A friend commented on my post.
3. お客さんが私にチップをくれた。
  (おきゃくさんがわたしにちっぷをくれた。)
  ー The customer gave me a tip.

How to Distinguish もらう and くれる

Perspective/Focus:
- もらう focuses on the receiver (the speaker or someone in their group), so the subject of the sentence is the receiver.
  
  私は友達から本をもらいました。
  (わたしはともだちからほんをもらいました。)
  — I received a book from my friend.
- くれる focuses on the giver and their act of giving toward the speaker (or their group), so the subject of the sentence is the giver.
  
  友達が本をくれました。
  (ともだちがほんをくれました。)
  — My friend gave me a book.
Particle Differences:
- もらう: The giver is marked with から or に.
  
  私は友達からプレゼントをもらいました。
  (わたしはともだちからぷれぜんとをもらいました。)
  ー I received a present from my friend.
- くれる: The giver is usually the subject of the sentence.
  
  友達がプレゼントをくれました。
  (ともだちがぷれぜんとをくれました。)
  ー My friend gave me a present.
Sentence Structure:
- With もらう, the speaker places themselves as the receiver.
- With くれる, the speaker views the action from the giver’s perspective, but the action benefits the speaker.

Example Sentences Comparing もらう and くれる

兄は友達からスニーカーをもらいました。
(あにはともだちからすにーかーをもらいました。)
— My older brother received sneakers from his friend.
友達が兄にスニーカーをくれました。
(ともだちがあににすにーかーをくれました。)
— My brother’s friend gave sneakers to my older brother.

Tip: To decide which to use, think about:

Who is receiving the benefit (use もらう if the speaker or their group benefits).
Who is giving (use くれる if the giver is the subject and their action benefits the speaker or their group).

〜てあげる, 〜てもらう, and 〜てくれる

These forms are extensions of あげる, もらう, and くれる used with the て-form of verbs to describe actions being done for someone else. They help indicate the direction of the action (who is doing the action for whom) and often convey emotions like gratitude, consideration, or favor. Without using 〜てあげる, 〜てもらう, and 〜てくれる, it would sound like you’re just stating a fact, without conveying any emotions—like reporting the news.

1. 〜てあげる

Meaning: To do something for someone else (as a favor).
The action moves away from the speaker (or the subject) to someone else.
Usage: Shows that the subject performs an action for the benefit of another person. It can convey goodwill, kindness, or politeness.
Speaker’s feelings: Neutral to slightly positive; emphasizes the effort made for someone.
Example sentences:
1. 私は友達に宿題を手伝ってあげました。
  (わたしはともだちのしゅくだいをてつだってあげました。)
  — I helped my friend with their homework.
2. 母が子供たちに料理を作ってあげた。
  (はははいとこにりょうりをつくってあげた。)
  — My mother cooked for my cousin.
3. 彼にドアを開けてあげて。
  (かれにどあをあけてあげて。)
  — Open the door for him.

2. 〜てもらう

Meaning: To have someone do something for you (or for someone in your group).
The action moves toward the speaker (or their in-group).
This construction emphasizes the benefit received from someone else’s action.
Usage: Focuses on the receiver of the favor, highlighting the help or kindness they received.
Speaker’s feelings: Gratitude or appreciation for the action.
Example sentences:
1. 私は友達に宿題を手伝ってもらいました。
  (わたしはともだちにしゅくだいをてつだってもらいました。)
  — I got help from my friend with my homework.
2. 友達に引っ越しを手伝ってもらった。
  (ともだちにひっこしをてつだってもらった。)
  — I got help from my friend with moving.
3. 私たちは隣の人に荷物を運んでもらいました。
  (わたしたちはとなりのひとににもつをはこんでもらいました。)
  — We had the neighbor carry our luggage for us.

3. 〜てくれる

Meaning: Someone does something for the speaker (or someone in their group).
The action moves toward the speaker or someone they are close to.
Usage: Focuses on the giver and their kind action. Often expresses gratitude or appreciation.
Speaker’s feelings: Gratitude, warmth, or recognition of the giver’s kindness.
Example sentences:
1. 友達が宿題を手伝ってくれました。
  (ともだちがしゅくだいをてつだってくれました。)
  — My friend helped me with my homework.
2. 母が私のためにお弁当を作ってくれた。
  (ははがわたしのためにおべんとうをつくってくれた。)
  — My mother made a lunchbox for me.
3. 友達が私の誕生日パーティーを開いてくれた。
  (ともだちがわたしのたんじょうびぱーてぃーをひらいてくれた。)
  — My friends threw me a birthday party.

Note: In Japanese, “Thank you for doing it for me.” is “〜てくれてありがとう“, using “てform verb + くれて+ ありがとう” Without “くれて,” it is grammatically incorrect and doesn’t make sense.
In very formal way, “〜ていただきありがとうございます” using いただく, polite form of もらう.
Or “〜てくださりありがとうございます” using くださる, polite form of くれる.

e.g.

来てくれてありがとう。
(きてくれてありがとう。)
ーThank you for coming.
知らせてくれてありがとう。
(しらせてくれてありがとうございます。)
ーThank you for letting me know.
引っ越しを手伝ってくれてありがとう。
(ひっこしをてつだってくれてありがとう。)
ーThank you for helping me move.
ご来店いただきありがとうございます。
(ごらいてんいただきありがとうございます。)
ーThank you for visiting our store.
母を助けてくださり、ありがとうございました。
(ははをたすけてくださり、ありがとうございました。)
ーThank you for helping my mother.

Key Points to Understand the Direction of the Action

Subject’s Role:
- 〜てあげる: The subject is doing the action for someone else.
- 〜てもらう: The subject is receiving the benefit of someone else’s action.
- 〜てくれる: The subject is performing the action, but the beneficiary is the speaker (or their group).
Action Movement:
- Away from the speaker: 〜てあげる
- Toward the speaker: 〜てもらう, 〜てくれる
Emotional Tone:
- 〜てもらう and 〜てくれる convey feelings of gratitude or appreciation.
- 〜てあげる is neutral, though it can suggest kindness or consideration depending on the context.

Example Sentences for Comparison

(1) Someone helping someone else:

私は妹に本を読んであげました。
(わたしはいもうとにほんをよんであげました。)
— I read a book to my little sister.
私は母に本を読んでもらいました。
(わたしはははにほんをよんでもらいました。)
— I had my mother read me a book.
母が私に本を読んでくれました。
(ははがわたしにほんをよんでくれました。)
— My mother read me a book.

(2) Offering favors to others:

私は田中さんに料理を作ってあげた。
(わたしはたなかさんにりょうりをつくってあげた。)
— I cooked for Tanaka-san.
田中さんが私に料理を作ってくれた。
(たなかさんがわたしにりょうりをつくってくれた。)
— Tanaka-san cooked for me.
私は田中さんに料理を作ってもらった。
(わたしはたなかさんにりょうりをつくってもらった。)
— I had Tanaka-san cook for me.

Example sentences without subject

In the office

Aさん : 橋本さんに資料見せてあげて。
(はしもとさんにしりょうみせてあげて。)
Bさん : はい。
ーA : Please show the documents to Hashimoto-san.
ーB : Okay.

Explanation : A is asking B to show some documents to their colleague, Hashimoto-san. It’s a typical work-related request.
Chatting with a colleague

A : 彼氏に車もらったの。
(かれしにくるまもらったの。)
B : え？車買ってもらったの！？
(え？くるまかってもらったの！？)
ーA: My boyfriend gave me a car.
ーB : Huh? He bought you a car!?

Explanation : A is sharing with B that her boyfriend gave her a car. B is surprised and asks if he actually bought it.
At a party

A : 今日は来てくれてありがとう。
(きょうはきてくれてありがとう。)
B : こちらこそ。誘ってくれてありがとう。
(こちらこそ。さそってくれてありがとう。)
ーA : Thank you for coming today.
ーB : No, thank you for inviting me.

Explanation : A, possibly the host, is thanking B for attending the party. B responds politely, thanking A for the invitation.
In the office

A: 鈴木さんに教えてあげてくれない？
(すずきさんにおしえてあげてくれない？)
B: 分かりました。
(わかりました。)
ーA : Could you teach Suzuki-san for me?
ーB : Got it.

Explanation : A is asking B to help or instruct their colleague Suzuki-san on something work-related. B agrees.
Business request at work

A : 突然で申し訳ないんだけど、来週、出張で大阪に行ってもらえる？
(とつぜんでもうしわけないんだけど、らいしゅう、しゅっちょうでおおさかにいってもらえる？)
B : はい。大丈夫です。
(はい。だいじょうぶです。)
ーA: Sorry for the sudden request, but could you go on a business trip to Osaka next week?
ーB : Sure, no problem.

Explanation : A is apologetically asking B to take a business trip to Osaka. B agrees without hesitation.
Talking with a neighbor (Advanced level)

A : 娘が作ったクッキーなんだけど、B君のために作ったらしいの。もらってあげてくれない？
(むすめがつくったくっきーなんだけど、Bくんのためにつくったらしいの。もらってあげてくれない？)
B : 可愛いクッキーだね。ありがとう！
(かわいいくっきーだね。ありがとう！)
ーA : These are cookies my daughter made. She apparently made them for you, B-kun. Could you accept them for her?
ーB : These cookies are so cute! Thank you!

Explanation : A is offering cookies made by her little daughter, saying they were made especially for B. “もらってあげてくれない” combines the idea of accepting the cookies (もらう) with doing it as a favor (あげる) for her daughter, and the “くれる” part implies that receiving the cookies is also a favor to A, emphasizing that accepting them would make the daughter happy. B accepts them happily.
Conversation between siblings on the phone (Advanced level)

A : お母さんが具合が悪いって言ってるから病院に連れて行ってあげてくれない？
(おかあさんがぐあいがわるいっていってるからびょういんにつれていってあげてくれない？)
B : 分かった。３０分後に迎えに行くって伝えてくれる？
(わかった。さんじゅっぷんごにむかえにいくってつたえてくれる？
ーA : Mom says she’s not feeling well. Could you take her to the hospital?
ーB : Got it. Could you let her know I’ll pick her up in 30 minutes?

Explanation : A is informing B that their mother isn’t feeling well and asks B to take her to the hospital. “連れて行ってあげてくれない(つれていってあげてくれない)” contains “あげる” and “くれる.” “あげる” shows that A is asking B to do this as a favor for their mother, and “くれる” shows that doing it for their mother is also a favor for A, probably A cannot take her to the hospital for some reason. B agrees and asks A to inform their mother when he’ll arrive, using “伝えてくれる(つたえてくれる)” to ask A to pass on the message for B.

Conclusion:

The verbs あげる, もらう, and くれる, along with their extended forms, are more than just tools for describing actions—they reflect the relationships, emotions, and dynamics between people. By focusing on the direction of the action and the emotional tone, you can use these structures effectively to convey nuances of kindness, gratitude, or favor. As you practice, these expressions will become an intuitive part of your Japanese communication, helping you connect more deeply with others.

nuance up

Understanding Direction and Emotion : (〜て)あげる, (〜て)もらう, (〜て)くれる